While I have many Indian friends, and in America often found myself the only white man in a Desi crowd, it did not prepare me for the differences in culture. During those times, I was still an American, in America, surrounded by people who were comfortable with American culture and who had mostly adopted American attitudes.

I am staying in what I would characterize as a working class home, in a working class neighborhood, run by traditional ways and attitudes. One thing that has struck me is the absence of disposable goods. When we entered the home, the only disposable materials were small plastic bags used for vegetables or produce, and even those were reused as trash bags. All the dishes are metal (like in an Indian restaurant), except for a pair of ceramic tea cups. There are a few bottles of soft drinks in the fridge, and those are in glass bottles which will get reused. We have brought in tissues, teabags, and bottled water (though we reuse the plastics bottles a few times), so the house is no longer "pure". On average, we produce about a sandwich bag worth of trash a day, most of which is food scraps like chicken bones or onion skins.

Another difference is what I will call the head waggle. Instead of nodding in agreement, people wiggle their heads. They don't turn their face from side to side like an American "no", instead shaking loosely while looking forward. However, it is close enough to the "no" shake that I find myself misinterpreting it as a lack of comprehension or a polite dismissal of what I am saying, when it means understanding or agreement. I getting pretty good at the hand gesture for "no" which is shaking the hand from side to side. I have found that gesture accompanied by a lack of eye contact is generally effective in warding off beggars and street merchants.

There is also the issue of me being a white male, the most privileged class in the eyes of may here. Privileged not only in the real sense of having advantages due to my background, but privileged in the sense that they believe I must be treated special. Deepika asks Dolly why she doesn't serve me food. If I ask to help in the kitchen with cleaning or chopping, I am met with sharp words and looks. If I ask what I can help with, I am told "no no no." I believe some of this is general hospitality, but I don't think its the whole story. I know Dolly's mom is very concerned about me in India, and she had an AC unit installed in the bedroom we are staying in. I think she is concerned about me experiencing hardship, which is sweet in some ways. I don't know if she knows about things like camping and backpacking where (white) people intentionally expose themselves to this. I am certainly prepared for some level of discomfort and lack of luxury while I am here.

They laugh at me putting on sunscreen 2 or 3 times a day. I asked them if they know what sunburn is - they don't. They are also suspicious of my allergies... they have never heard of anyone who can't eat dal or yogurt or wheat, and I think they think I am just picky. Also, I have not seen one drop of alcohol while here. I asked someone if he drank, and he laughed and said yes, two or three times a year.